Bếp pop-up shop...

Mondays @ Simple Cafe on S.3rd st & Bedford in b-burg, BK. One of my friend majorly panned this place for the Pho so I had lowered expectations going in--I figured since it was a pop-up shop that's managed to be around longer than most people thought it would be AND hopefully since it *has* had more time on the block then things theoretically would've been tweaked with continued customer feedback...that mehbeh it wouldn't be so bad, eh?

EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. That's pretty much how I would sum up eatin' @ Bếp. not "eh." but "EHHHHH." with maybe a shoulder shrug held for about 5 seconds in addendum. Followed with a crooked turn of the cheek kind of "eh" smirk. This be the crew. Long bench tables, small slate chalk board for specials menu. Small print-out menu w/ commie looking font and a star. Comrades, COMMENCE!

I'll start off with the best thing of the entire meal (the only palatable thing!)--THE FLAN! :)

I lurves me some flan--and the firmer it is the better. Not...too fond of the custard-y texture, it's not what I grew up with. That, and the custardy texture creeps me out. Could've used a little more carmelization to amp up the sugar/smokey top AND would've added a little more depth and viscosity to the subsequent sauce. A little strong in the coconutty flavor which is a little strange but totes mcgoats fine by me! :) Not THE best, but better than lots I've had in the city. Doesn't compare to Bar Bao's pandan flan with the other ish--but the highlight of Bếp.

Here's the deal--everything was decent except one rather EPIC FAIL that supersedes any thought one might possibly have as to what epic fail could be. A NEW SET POINT FOR EPIC FAIL. But first some fairer foods:

There were a couple specials--the mango/red cabbage gỏi with shrimp and the shrimp chips, the flan--and something else but we got those 2. Something they could've done was squeezed the water out of the cabbage since it was shaved super finely and thus watered down the already sweeter fish sauce mix/dipping sauce as u people refer to it ;)

You can see here that everything's a little flaccid--even the damn shredded banana flower (brown stuff on top)! It SHOULD BE FRIED! and crispy! Adds a diff texture to the whole thing period! Limp limp limp! Julienne the salad! Shred it! not finely shave!! Or...just give it a good squeeze b/f u plate it dammit. Otherwise, not as crunchy either. Could've used a bit more straight up fish sauce (which was readily available in a squeeze bottle :) I couldn't identify the brand or type but it was less earthy and lighter with a smidge more tart-ness to it). Other than that, generally well received by the group--well as in "eh" well with an "all right this is doable" head nod, no head shake. :)

Consensus on the egg roll/spring roll was goodish. I got carried away breaking it apart to looka t the insides--looks like morel or some other mushroom was used instead of wood ear. I nitpick b/c wood ear has a diff texture and more flavorful factor to enhance the meat mix. Meat mix itself was too finely processed--didn't feel very meaty at all. Generally both this and the "summer roll" should've been a bit more robust and better tightly packed. Too much carrots in there given the ratio of meets to veg. The outside/roll part was I think the thin rice paper (same used for the summer roll) which isn't...the best but still actually made it better received than expected b/c the homies liked the diff texture it brought when it was fried. (a good chunk of us are from heavily asian-populated communities in California.)

Summer roll: pack it tighter, pack it it with equal meats--or rather, more proteins, period! Shrimp is aiites as well as a pork substitute (tenderloins slow cooked please!). I can't remember if this was the one with the wrong cut of meat or the pho. Probably the pho. Otherwise, the pleasant surprise about the summer roll was that it had the mint and other herbs in there--should've been better distributed and more amply so as discusseds in prior prior paragraph! Flaccid and under-fed looking rolls and anemic salads :P ALSO--there is NO SUCH THING AS SPRING/SUMMER ROLL. see endnote. -.-

Vermicelli with seared shortribs, egg roll, veg & 'dipping sauce'. Hard to really screw this up. THey didn't. But they didn't do much with it either. Again, things were weak in flavor, composition, substance. Not much to add to it. They ran out of the "Bún bò Huế " (Hue style noodle soup) which I was lookign forward to trying out b/c you don't see it on lotsa menus here AND it's actually pretty effin' delish to have sometimes--just manifests itself as a really specific craving b/c the taste and ingredients are quite distinctive from general Vietnamese seasoning and whatnot. WHATEVER. not on menu here anymore either. :( Back to the vermicelli. I give it a 6 outta 10. Given that everythign else hovers around 5/6...and ou of the entrees, this fairs much better than that wretched pho. -.-

So wretched I only want to show u part of it. jk :P Real pic following, but first just..focus on that broth. LOOK AT IT. It looks like..shit's emulsifying or...well, i dunno if u can really look that closely or discern but...the broth...looks like the meat particles/residuals are just floating around like a supersaturated solution. YES i used a chem ref BUT SERIOUSLY. Major sign that it's not simmered enough OR rather...I don't know what they could've done to muck this up but the broth has no depth, no body--not even comparable to CANNED CHICKEN BROTH or beef broth, let a lone pho broth. O.o

This was like--having the beef strips soak in hot water for an hour or something instead of the BONES. Did they not use the right bones? Was it not reduced enough? Simmered @ wrong temp so the flavor bits and whatnot didn't integrate into the broth as well? DID THEY USE WATER TO START WITH?! what is GOING ON?! It's really baffling b/c--i *never* would've expected the broth to be this wack. Not just wack--UNIDENTIFIABLE! I mean...canned chicken broth from Gristedes would've been a better and complementary substitute! The beef strips were "ehh." One of the cuts was wrong--I can't identify the diff cuts but one of the strips they used had tendon on it and was chewy/stiff and striated--it resembled more of the pork or beef cut that's usually slow-cooked in a crock pot, usually served a bit pink in the middle and sliced to use as stuffing in the "summer rolls". WHAT THE EFF?
the VERY VERY POSITIVE thing...(the only positive thing and could never actually redeem this damn pho AT ALL but does redeem the...intentions of the owner's/chefs)...is that they had mint leaves AND culantro!! CULANTRO!!!!!! ^_^ I love the smell of it, it MAKES the pho pho (er..not in this case but whatebbs.) They didn't plate a lot of bean sprouts either, but they had culantro!!! ^_^ Also known as long coriander and...a bunch of other names. It's vibrant, a little citrusy (but very very low note of citrus). Can't describe the taste--not that close to cilantro but that'll suffice. They were missing this other smooth leaved herb which I can't rememer the name of but it's in that trifecta of herbs w/ culantro and mint :D WEEEEE! thai basil? who knows.

If this pho had a rating, it'd be negative 5. YES. B/c it's not even PHO. it makes no sense. maybe negative 2 for the inclusion of culantro :D All in all? everythign's a little too sterile, a little anemic, a little lacking in flavor. Would I go back? no. Would I if I was in Williamsburg for some reason on a monday? Maybe--if they had the flan and I had free reign of the fish sauce squirt bottle for teh rest of the stuff! :) Which--I also commend them for having the straight up fish sauce out on the table as a staple condiment :P And so, I leave you with a picture of my comrades--at least it was fun getting us all together on a bench. Very...pinko aesthetics no? Guess that's what they're going for--at least that was better executed than at Republic in Union Square!

--
(btw--highly vexing: there's no such thing as spring/summer rolls, we call it fried, or plain ol' translation as 'salad roll' which actually isn't even that close of a translation b/c "gỏi cuốn" means rolled salad-y thing that's shredded. "Gỏi" means a mix of shredded (usually) cabbage, maybe papaya, mehbeh carrots mixed in etc. most of the time with the fish sauce mix (with rice vinegar, garlic, lime juice, pickled jicama and carrot shreds--julienned for the most part), and sometimes with this vinegar mix with a bit of salt and pepper. Even effin' wiki refers to it as both--who the eff is responsible for this american etymology?!)